Conversation-secrets Revealed
How to build better relationships with Hungarians with a simple
communication technique
How to Avoid Misunderstandings and Hidden Expectations
How to build better relationships with Hungarians with a simple
communication technique
How to Avoid Misunderstandings and Hidden Expectations
- How do you behave in your own culture in order to be seen as a sociable person?
- How is this behavior viewed in continental Europe? In Hungary?
- In your home culture, how your American friends express their love and
appreciation to you? - How your Hungarian friends express their love and appreciation to you?
- What is the main conversation tool in your home culture to express interest and
build a relationship? - What is the main conversation tool in Hungary to express interest and build a
relationship?
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Hungarian
Culture, Language & Relocation Resources
Culture, Language & Relocation Resources
| - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - HUNGARIAN HABITS & CUSTOMS - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
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| non-verbal communication, conversation, expressing positive feelings, asking questions, building relationships, sharing |
Language is often indirect and imprecise, and purposely so. Hungarians are almost
always less direct than Americans and depend on nuances of meaning in many cases.
(high-context culture). If you care, watch for allusions and hidden meanings, and listen to
what is not said as well as what is said.
In the U. S. -
In most of continental Europe, including Hungary -
Most Hungarians are shy and reserved in expressing positive feelings in relationships.
Hungarians hardly ever able to utter the words “I love you”, and very rarely praise you
face to face ("in the eye"). You have to learn reading between the lines and pick up the
signs that you are loved, if you don’t want to suffer from love-deficiency!
The key to most of your relationship-building success in Hungary is to know that:
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Americans ask questions to build a relationship.
Hungarians share what's on their hearts when interested in building a relationship.
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Remember this!
Americans share when answering questions. Americans only share as much as the
other one has expressed interest in. Talking about yourself when you have not been
asked would be considered selfish and impolite.
Americans almost always ask a question when they want to continue the conversation.
Hungarians, on the other hand, can ask lots of questions, but it is not a rule in the
conversation pattern to always finish with a question when you finished talking, and
want the other one to pick up the conversation. Hungarians share as much as they feel
free to. Then we pause and it is “your turn”.
Sharing personal things is considered a great "gift" and a sign of a deeper friendship.
This is the main reason most Hungarians will go ahead and share personal staff when
they care about you, but will not finish by asking about you. You are free to reciprocate and
share back, if you also care about the person, or, you are free to keep the contents of your
heart to yourself and not to share.
See the point?
It is not that they alway want to speak about themselves, and it is not that they don't care
about you.
It is just that the game is played differently. Hungarians are just not familiar with the
conversation rules that you learned in your own culture and therefore you just suppose
that every considerate human being understands.
Next time if you spend time with a Hungarian you want to get to know better, don't wait until
they ask. Give it a try and share something out of your own initiation.
Remember: our opinions of others are always based on our own cultural values!
Especially if we suppose instead of learning.
always less direct than Americans and depend on nuances of meaning in many cases.
(high-context culture). If you care, watch for allusions and hidden meanings, and listen to
what is not said as well as what is said.
In the U. S. -
- In order to be a sociable and open person it is important to converse with people.
- People rapidly exchange information about their activities, family, etc.
- You will receive questions about your background the first time you talk with
someone. (Here in Hungary, that might come 9 months later.)
In most of continental Europe, including Hungary -
- It is a positive trait not to babble-chatter-tittle-tattle, and to limit the amount of
private information you give to strangers. To be a man of a few words is seen as a
sign of being a wise person. Only “silly women and immature children” speak all
the time.
Most Hungarians are shy and reserved in expressing positive feelings in relationships.
Hungarians hardly ever able to utter the words “I love you”, and very rarely praise you
face to face ("in the eye"). You have to learn reading between the lines and pick up the
signs that you are loved, if you don’t want to suffer from love-deficiency!
The key to most of your relationship-building success in Hungary is to know that:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Americans ask questions to build a relationship.
Hungarians share what's on their hearts when interested in building a relationship.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Remember this!
Americans share when answering questions. Americans only share as much as the
other one has expressed interest in. Talking about yourself when you have not been
asked would be considered selfish and impolite.
Americans almost always ask a question when they want to continue the conversation.
Hungarians, on the other hand, can ask lots of questions, but it is not a rule in the
conversation pattern to always finish with a question when you finished talking, and
want the other one to pick up the conversation. Hungarians share as much as they feel
free to. Then we pause and it is “your turn”.
Sharing personal things is considered a great "gift" and a sign of a deeper friendship.
This is the main reason most Hungarians will go ahead and share personal staff when
they care about you, but will not finish by asking about you. You are free to reciprocate and
share back, if you also care about the person, or, you are free to keep the contents of your
heart to yourself and not to share.
See the point?
It is not that they alway want to speak about themselves, and it is not that they don't care
about you.
It is just that the game is played differently. Hungarians are just not familiar with the
conversation rules that you learned in your own culture and therefore you just suppose
that every considerate human being understands.
Next time if you spend time with a Hungarian you want to get to know better, don't wait until
they ask. Give it a try and share something out of your own initiation.
Remember: our opinions of others are always based on our own cultural values!
Especially if we suppose instead of learning.
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| - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - HUNGARIAN CULTURE - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
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Hungarian Culture Blog
Share your experiences,
frustrations,
questions and advice!
www.hunreal.com